


The Joker FANFIC- OneShot

by NotMePerson



Category: DC Extended Universe, The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Bank Robbery, DC Comics References, Drama, Driver’s License, Fun, Gotham City - Freeform, Gotham City Police Department, Heath Ledger Joker - Freeform, Other, Psychopath, Thriller, chaotic - Freeform, dcu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-19 19:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22936546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotMePerson/pseuds/NotMePerson
Summary: A Joker fan fiction! This Oneshot stars yours truly in a bank robbery heist.Be warned: the story contains many... many things, that are gruesome.If you can’t handle it- if you THINK you can’t handle it- then leave now. But otherwise, enjoy this realistic Joker story!





	The Joker FANFIC- OneShot

**Author's Note:**

> Contains the following~
> 
> •Inappropriate humor
> 
> •Smut
> 
> •Strong brief suggestive language
> 
> •Violence
> 
> •Gore
> 
> •Graphic content
> 
> •Use of Alcohol

.

A psychotic laugh echoed within the bank’s vault.

“HAHAHAHAHA.” The Joker watched as men, wearing clown masks, started to stuff bags full of cash.

Joker walked out of the bank vault, then pointed a gun at the hostages.

They were already all laid on the ground, quiet.

A lady started to cry, which made the Joker start to approach her.

“Aw, what’s wrong?” He laughed at his own question.

She continued crying, then closed her eyes and put her hands over her head, wishing this would be over.

The Joker crouched down beside her, then tilted his head.

“Shhh.” He put a finger to his lips.

“Crying won’t get you out of here.”

He shook his head as he stood back up.

“If you scream, though..” He grinned, then continued.

“I’ll let you out if you scream, okay?”

The lady shook her head at the ground, her eyes still tightly shut.

“I’m sorry, I suppose I made it like you had a CHOICE.” That said, he grabbed her arm then jerked her off the ground.

One of the goons wearing a clown mask spoke up.

“Boss, what are you going to do with her?”

Another goon interrupted.

“We have the cash! Let’s split while we can!” He held the bags of money up, then proceeded by trying to exit the side door of the bank.

Joker turned around, then pointed his gun at the fleeing goon.

“Oh no! The cops are here!” Joker laughed, then shot the goon as he tried leaving the building.

“Did you SEE that!?” He laughed, then pulled the lady toward him when she tried running away.

“A cop just shot that guy!” Joker put a hand on his forehead as he bent forward, continuing his hysterical laugh.

The other goons looked at each other, then wondered to themselves why they didn’t choose the job with Luther instead.

As Joker started to have some small talk with his lady friend, a goon went over to the shot man and retrieved the bags of money.

“This is a ... nice chat we’re having. But I actually have a better use for you.” The Joker forcefully moved her to the front doors of the bank, then tossed her on the ground.

“Now all you need to do is sit!” He put his palms out of front of him so they faced her.

“And don’t move.” He smiled crookedly, then signaled to one of his goons.

The goon immediately tossed him a vest, which was almost entirely covered in wire.

Joker made haste to slip the vest on the lady carefully. Then he sat in front of her as he pushed some buttons on the metal box, attached to her vest.

He put his hand on the woman’s cheek, making the lady defensively jerk herself back from him.

“I’m not gonna hurt ya.” He chuckled, then stood up.

“The explosive on the other hand, haha. That’s going to be the real pain.” He started laughing as he held the detonator up.

“No! Please!” The lady cried out.

He, and his goons, were already out of the building.

The group made their way into several vehicles, all of them were huge trucks.

The police were delayed, so Joker figured the cops were just now hearing about the bank robbery.

The man in the passenger seat of the truck listened to his walker talkie, then set it down as he looked to the Joker.

“Joker, the cops were spotted a few blocks from here. They’re headed our way.”

“Better late then never.” Joker slammed on the gas petal, making the tires start to skid on the ground before rolling forward.

“MOVE OUT!” He stuck his arm out of the door window, then hit the side of the truck as he looked behind him.

The police cars could be seen turning a corner, and the trucks were immediately spotted.

“Okay men, it’s just like we rehearsed!”

A man slid open a small window which was to the right of Joker’s head.

“We rehearsed this?” He questioned.

Joker rolled his eyes before using his right hand to slide the window back shut.

“It’s just a saying, geez.”

For the first few seconds, Joker and his goons were driving down the road with no problem. And when I say no problem, I mean it wasn’t a problem running over cars and smashing into everything.

After the few moments of reckless driving, cops started to make a barricade almost a half a mile ahead.

Joker was laughing as he started to increase the speed of the truck.

The guy in the passenger seat of his car started to worry.

“Boss, there has to be seven cars blocking off the road.”

“I know.” Joker responded laughing.

“We’re coming pretty close to them now.”

“I know..!”

“BOSS. WE’RE GONNA CRASH.”

“I KNOW!”

The passenger started yelling and pushing himself back against the seat.

Joker leaned back in his seat, but he looked as if he wanted to be in a huge crash.

-Police point of view-

The police officer points his gun at the truck coming head on, he starts shooting at the windshield.

A different cop sits in a police car that’s in the road, looking to see if it’ll slow down.

The cop tightens his grip on the steering wheel.

“I don’t think he’s gonna stop.”

The cop that holds the gun chuckles.

“Nah, he’ll have to stop. They all stop.”

He shakes his head, then leans on the police car.

“Um, yeah. They usually all stop.”

“All the time.”

“Except the Joker...” He finally added.

The cop slowly peers into the opened window of the car, looking to him to see if he’s serious.

“Ha... you’re joking.”

“No... I’m- AHHH!” He gets interrupted by a truck running over the guy, and the police car.

-Back to Joker-

“WE’RE DEAD!” The passenger screamed.

“HAHAHA!” Joker laughed and hit his palms on the steering wheel.

The guy has his hands covering his eyes, and he begins to crack his fingers open to see something.

“We... lived?” He looked in the car’s mirror, seeing the ran over cars.

“How did that happen?”

“It just... did! Now be happy you’re alive, because is won’t last long!”

Joker turned the truck onto a different road, the other trucks had gunned down any helicopters that were following.

“I guess I should be happy.” The passenger nervously chuckled.

Joker smiled, then moved his hand down from the wheel as he turned to the man.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

With a swift hand movement from under the seat to having a gun pointed at the passenger, he fired point blank into their forehead.

“It’s good to know you were happy, before death hit.” His hysterical laughter came on again.

“Or in your case, before death SHOT.” That really must’ve been funny, cause he laughed the rest of the car ride until he made it to his hideout.

“Weeeee did it!” The Joker slammed the truck door shut, then started to walk to the center of the huge garage. Two men were waiting for him there, they had nice suits and everything.

“Gentlemen!” The Joker clapped his hands together, then gestured to all the trucks that were parked not too far away.

“I believe I have enough for that thing we discussed.” He rubbed his hands together, then his smile faded so he appeared more serious.

The men in suits looked to one another, then they nodded.

They didn’t nod to Joker, though. The men nodded in different directions, and in seconds, gangster looking people surrounded the walls inside of the garage.

The Joker sighed, then acted baffled.

“Are you... double crossing me?” He put a hand to his heart, then tilted his head.

“Like we’d trust a freak like you?” One of the men said mockingly.

The other man chuckled, then chimed in.

“He means to say, why would we even work with a freak like you?”

Before one of them signaled the men to fire their weapons, the Joker did something quite... adult-like.

Joker coughed loudly.

“ORIGINAL.” He coughed again.

The men looked at him.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing. Carry on, or whatever.” The Joker smiled.

One of the men lifted their hand up, ready to say the word.

“Okay men, n-“

The Joker coughed again.

“SO EXPECTED.” He hit his fist to his chest as if to help him cough more.

The same man suddenly pulled out a firearm from his side and pointed it at the joker.

“COUGH AGAIN.” He insisted, then finished his statement.

“PLEASE.”

“No, I’m sorry. It’s not like coughing will get me anywhere anyway.” The Joker smiled innocently.

The other suited man put an arm on the other’s shoulder.

“He won’t do it, he ain’t that stupid.”

“YES HE WILL!” He knew this clown guy was tryna toy with him, but he was too SMART for him.

“You’re right, actually.” The man said quietly, then lowered his weapon and slid it back in it’s holster.

“I don’t want blood on my hands anyway, when someone else could do this for me.”

The man straightened the collar of his shirt, trying to get his composure back together.

The Joker had a slight smile on the corner of his mouth, he waited for the man to get himself back together.

The man looked at all the gang members with artillery, then was about to signal them with a slight hand movement; before the clown did something....

‘ACHOO’

The Joker had actually sneezed.

“DANG YOU!” The suited man started to reach for his holster. Once he did, the Joker had grabbed a knife from his vest and used a perfect amount of force to send the blade flying into the man’s chest.

Joker’s goons, not the ones who were surrounded, crashed though the windows and started open firing on all the gang members.

“Brother!” The suited man grabbed the other man before he fell down dead.

“I... I’m so sorry.” The brother said, then coughed some blood out.

“Don’t be sorry! Well, I mean, I guess you were being a bit immature to get mad over a cough.”

The brother widened his eyes.

“That’s not what I was apologizing for, you idiot!” He spit out more blood, and the suited man lowered his brother down so he laid on the ground.

“Oh. That’s my bad.” He mumbled, then went on.

“What were you... gonna apologize for, then?” He smiled sheepishly down at his brother.

“I was GOING to apologize for sleeping with your wife. BUT NOW I’M NOT FEELING SO SYMPATHETIC!”

“YOU WHAT!?” The man threw his brother away from him, making the guy cough out more blood.

“I thought you already knew!”

“CLEARLY... I DIDN’T!” The man pulled out a gun from HIS holster and pointed it down at his brother.

The Joker had his hands held in front of him, he looked around at something to appease his eye. All he saw were men falling down from the ceiling, he couldn’t really tell if his team was winning or not.

“This is why I make my thugs wear masks.” He said to himself while shaking his head.

“YOU WOULDN’T SHOOT ME!” The man tried to crawl backwards, but he was already loosing enough blood as is. Every movement made it worse for him.

“You’ll die, a lonely, childless man.” The man took a step closer.

The brother blinked a few times, then put his hand on the knife handle to try and pull it out before saying-

“Uh, no. Not childless.”

The man tightened his grip on the gun.

“Don’t even say it.”

“But-“

“DON’T..”

“....”

The two of them awkwardly stared at each other for a moment. The one bleeding to death figured he was gonna be dead soon anyway, so he was going to say what he WANTED TO.

“Can I lie to you then?”

“Yes, please lie to me.”

The man laid on the floor, quiet for a second, thinking of how to word this.

“You know that kid of yours?”

The man immediately shot his brother, there and then.

The Joker was laughing his head off after he heard that.

“I GET THAT!” Joker covered part of his face with a hand, beginning to approach him.

“You know, because the child wasn’t YOURS.” His laugh was so real, but so psychotically crazy it sounded painful.

The man stood there, then pulled his attention away from his dead brother to point the gun at Joker.

The Joker shot his hands up.

“You want to shoot me?” He leaned to the side, then moved his hands to they were behind his head.

“...”

The brother refused to speak, standing there still as he debated in his mind what he should do. He could see that only a few of his men remained, and that the Joker had clearly prepared for the ambush.

“You did this.” He narrowed his eyes at Joker.

“Did I hear that correctly?” He stuck his pinky in his ear as if to clear it out.

“I did this?” He chuckled shaking his head and bit his lip.

“Mmm, I’m pretty sure YOU did.” The Joker pointed finger guns at him.

“You threw a KNIFE at him!” The man yelled in retaliation.

“And you shot him in the head, but let’s not make it a competition.” Joker then grinned.

“A competition on what!?” He asked, being in total confusion.

“Who killed him better.” Joker responded shrugging, his hands were now at his sides.

“THAT’S IT-“

Joker rushed in front of him and put his hand over the gun’s barrel.

“Oh, wow. You really stopped me.”

Joker laughed, then shook his head.

“How about this, if you shoot my hand, then you can be in my little amateur group.”

Some of Joker’s goons put their hands up being ticked off. Giving off the ‘What gives?’ annoyed kind of expression.

“Excuse me?” A goon said, but immediately ignored.

“BUT!...” He put a finger up, real close to the guy’s face.

“If you don’t shoot my hand, and try to shoot me.... you die.” He let out a quick chuckle for composing himself.

“Is this a trick question?” The guy narrowed his eyes in confusion.

“No, no. Just tell me what you decide first before you do it.”

The man loosened his fingers on the gun, then tightened his grip again. He tried to think of something fast.

“Okay!”

The Joker looked left, then he looked right.

“OKAY...” He looked to the guy.

“Okay, what?”

“I’ll join your group.... and shoot you.”

The guy smiled at Joker.

“HOW.... DARE YOU!” The Joker yelled and pulled out a switchblade from his pocket.

“WAIT, YOU SAID-“

Joker immediately stabbed the guy in the chest, the gun fired right after.

Luckily, Joker’s hand was moved; he used that hand to punch the guy in the nose once stabbed.

The gun’s bullet went by Joker and flew into some goon’s chest; directly in the heart.

The goon fell on his knees, then fell forward on his face.

“Ah, we can replace him.” Joker laughed it off.

The suited man, which was now dead, laid on the cold hard floor. Real close to his brother.

Joker returned his switchblade to his pocket, then turned around to see all his thugs and goons staring at him.

“What?”

The Joker strolled passed them, chuckling as he made his way to a medal ladder.

“The guy said he’d shoot me, that was a THREAT, OKAY?” He climbed the ladder, and started to walk on the metal rack.

“GEEZ. The guy could’ve just left. I never said he COULDN’T do that.”

That said, Joker rent into a room and slammed the big metal door behind him shut.

“That guy has issues....” A clown masked man said to a thug.

“Yeah.....” He nodded in agreement.

A different goon interjected.

“But he pays well!” He chuckled, which turned into a laugh.

The other two shrugged and nodded, then joined in on his laughter.

A goon held up a small detonator that Joker gave him earlier.

“What’s this for?” He pressed the button.

A small BOOM made all the goons freeze.

“Uh, I don’t think we were supposed to ... press that.”

“Haha. Well, it’s not too early for retirement!” The three of them casually made their way out of the building.

•

END-OF-ONESHOT—

EN—O-ONESHO——

E——ONESH————

EN—O-ONESHO——

END-OF-ONESHOT—

•

}~{•~•}~{•~•}~{•~•}~{•~•}~{

The note which belongs to Author:

I’m so good at writing Joker...

And writing in general, like dang.

____

May this lead to many MORE Joker stories to come.

Thank you!

Gracias!

Mercy!

....

Thaciascy! <\- (for other languages)


End file.
